Have you ever developed a crush on a guy but you were pretty sure he didn’t know you existed? Have you ever felt like you’re really great catch, only men can’t see it? You wished you could get his attention, make him notice how special you are, and get him hooked but he didn’t give you a chance.
Being a bit of an overachiever like me, you might have tried to chase the guy. Maybe you bought a revealing outfit. I can say from experience that my New Orleans voodoo love potion didn’t have men following me down the street like the label promised.
Is it hopeless? Does attraction all come down to looks and popularity?
You can’t net or hook a guy. Just like a fish, if you chase him, he’ll swim away as fast as he can. Instead you lure a man in and he’ll hook himself. Dangle the shiny, tantalizing bait in front of his eyes and he’ll chase it all on his own, chomp down fast and hard, and tangle himself in your net for months, years or even a lifetime.
You can’t net or hook a guy. Just like a fish, if you chase him, he’ll swim away as fast as he can. Instead you lure a man in and he’ll hook himself.
The lure is the critical element in getting a man’s attention and creating attraction. I’ve developed an entire course on meeting and attracting the men you want to meet called Real Men In. My book is based around my 3 L Method of Dating Success. The method consists of 3 steps or the 3 L’s: Lure, Lust and Love.
The first step of my method is to create your lure. In order to lure men in, you must start with a good lure. To create a good lure you must have confidence, positivity, attention to your style and personal hygiene, and an appealing and fulfilling life outside of dating. Think of all those things that make you special and unique. That’s what your lure is made of. It’s your pride in those things that set you apart. It’s your passions. It’s coming from a place where you might want a man, but a man isn’t your ‘end all be all.’ It’s knowing that you deserve a good man and aren’t willing settle for less.
Men like anything different, anything that other people don’t have. A man wants a woman who stands out. A woman he respects. He can find a lot of women who will agree with him, who will drop everything to be with him and try hard to please him. He’s much more turned on by a woman who challenges him, has her own life, and isn’t afraid to be herself. Strong, spirited, interesting women with a dose of moxie – those are the gals that steal men’s hearts.
Still just having a good lure isn’t enough. You need to be able to put your lure in front of a man for him to see it. In my book I’ll teach you how to meet the men you want to meet and best showcase yourself. Shine. Stand out from the crowd. How to become what I call ‘The Most Interesting Woman in the Room.’
There are two ways you can meet men. You can doll yourself up and wait for a man to approach you. Or you can approach the man you want to meet, dazzle him and get him to chase you.
Mr. Right rulebooks, our mother’s advice, fairy tales and rom coms teach us the traditional roles: men are the pursuers, women the choosers. Conventionally, a woman must wait for a man to approach her and she picks which man she dates from her eager line of suitors.
I don’t fully disagree with the theory behind this. I still believe the man must be the pursuer. I believe that the only way to know if a man is interested in you is to see if he chases you.
Only I don’t think a women needs to wait on the sidelines or the cantaloupe display in a Whole Foods for Prince Charming to happen along on his white horse or with his shopping cart full of organic produce. I’ve come to the conclusion that we don’t live in the 1950’s. Women don’t need to assume a passive role to attract men. Women can be proactive.
Sticking to the conventional courtship model limits our dating options down to only the men who approach us.
Sticking to the conventional courtship model limits our dating options down to only the men who approach us. The problem is many men who would be interested in you, don’t approach you for many reasons: fear of rejection, bad relationship timing, intimidation, or circumstance. A guy might be distracted and not notice you. A cutie might be afraid you and your friends will make fun of him. A guy might think you get asked out all the time – why would you choose him?
Further, convention limits our chances to showcase our best selves to the men we would actually choose, if only we got a chance.
You can wile away your time like the conservative view suggests, but if you’re still single and you want things to change, I’d take matters into my own hands and meet not only the men who approach me, but the men I want to meet.
You can make the first move and men will still pursue you. Men will still think you’re a challenge. You won’t ruin your possibilities with a guy by making the right, unforgettable first impression. Now, I’m not suggesting you ask men out, collect mens’ phone numbers, act too obvious or overly eager. Coming on too strong or acting too interested smacks of desperation. Rather, don’t be a sure thing. Walk up to man, use one of my 5 opening strategies, flit into his life like a happy accident, spark his mind with the thought of you, and walk away, leaving him craving more. Initiating the interaction you’ll be at an advantage. You’ll get the chance for a guy to see what’s so special and unique about you, something you couldn’t do if you were waiting for a man to pluck you from the crowd based on looks or status.
Initiating the interaction you’ll be at an advantage. You’ll get the chance for a guy to see what’s so special and unique about you, something you couldn’t do if you were waiting for a man to pluck you from the crowd based on looks or status.
Lure him in successfully and he won’t be able to stop thinking about you. He’ll hunt you down. He’ll walk through fire to get your phone number. Guys like it when you present a challenge. It’s all part of that men primal hunting thing.
Once you’ve got a guy interested, you’ll move onto step 2: how to spark lust in him and get him in hot pursuit. In my course I reveal how you can use that special ingredient that keeps him on your heels – sass. I’ll give you a better understanding of flirting and attraction. You’ll see why some men fall in love and others don’t. And how stand out over the other girls batting their eyelashes on the side lines because you’ll be the girl he can’t stop thinking about and he won’t even know why. Don’t worry, there’s plenty of fun stories to read, we’ll plow through exercises, and you’ll learn a boatload of new techniques that you can go out use that very night.
Lastly in step 3 we’ll lay the foundation for turning lust into lasting love. In this section, I’ll teach you certain mindsets that women who are naturally successful in love use to draw men’s attention and interest and create a deeper, intense level of attraction.
If the strategies you’ve been using have not been working to attract the men you want, it’s time to stop feeling bad for yourself. It’s time to finally take action and do what I know works to attract and keep a man. There’s a lot of fish in the sea. You’re a great catch. It’s time you started reeling the right men in.
